Jesus Horse

Urban Teachers - Starring Lloyd Wafer

2009-12-11T16:32:00.000-08:00

My Brother from another mother Lloyd Wafer has done us all proud with his hard work and dedication as a teacher in Chicago.

His teaching program was the focus of this piece from Chicago wttw 11.

Notice how professional and compassionate he is with the kids - that is a hard balance to strike, and you can tell the kids appreciate it.

Well done Lloyd!
thom

Doug and Nathan in the Totally Sweet Adventures of Doug and Nathan

2009-12-01T20:45:00.000-08:00

View on ExposureRoom

Here is a glimpse of the Longer cut of Doug and Nathan Episode 1 with the animated credits by Juan Garcia of BlackBat Studios.

THE INCREDIBLY SLOW MURDERER WITH THE EXTREMELY INEFFICIENT WEAPON

2009-11-13T16:42:00.000-08:00

This is genius, I am inspired to make film by this work of sublime genius.

please give this man a dollar, each of you.

thank you
t.

Doug and Nathan in the Totally Sweet Adventures of Doug and Nathan

2009-10-27T18:43:00.000-07:00

Doug and Nathan in The Totally Sweet Adventures of Doug and Nathan - watch more funny videos

So we did a 72 hour film festival, and the results are awesome.

This is the first webisode of our new ongoing series:
Doug and Nathan in the Totally Sweet Adventures of Doug and Nathan

http://www.filmchallenge.org/

Viva Long Lost Films!

t.

Nathan Fillion is the Greatest

2009-10-27T18:40:00.000-07:00

How rad is this. Quick story Fillion and his brother came to our bar this summer and were the nicest guys that tipped well and even wrote personalized letters of recommendation for the staff.

awesome indeed.

Learn 2 Read PSA

2009-10-27T00:46:00.000-07:00

Learn2Read PSA - watch more funny videos

Uncle Eerie's Shiver Show is Coming!

2009-10-20T20:58:00.000-07:00

So, My friend Joseph has created a righteous Horror Host persona named Uncle Eerie,

http://www.myspace.com/uncleeerie

be sure to stay updated for additional footage.

And since Joseph is a drummer I thought of this and I thought he might get a kick out of it.

t.

Whenever, I loose my temper I see the Gorilla in my head and my anger is replaced with joy.

FOX "News" Defies Copyright and Rips off Tom Vee

2009-10-06T21:15:00.000-07:00

When Douches Collide!!!

2009-09-14T17:05:00.001-07:00

Truly any man that would go out of his way to give respect to Joe Jackson is not in his right mind.

t.

Zombies in Espana?

2009-09-13T18:58:00.000-07:00

Short film Zombies and cigarettes / English subtitle from Rafa Martínez on Vimeo.

This is called Zombies and Cigarettes. It is pretty awesome, well done and a bit daring.

t.

Grover=ME living out my #4 sexual fantasy with Madeline Kahn

2009-09-05T00:07:00.000-07:00

Grover is my hero. Madeline is my lady. 'nuff said.

Stuart Smalley Saves Intelligent Discourse on Health Care

2009-09-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

This is the sort of intelligent transparent rational discourse all publicly elected officials should be giving all americans regardless of their opinion on this complicated subject.

ROBOT by KRS-One and Buckshot

2009-08-29T22:05:00.000-07:00

I know there are a lot of tunes out there about how auto tune is evil and that its rise represents the gross commercialization of the art and a highly visible cookie cutter. But this one is pretty nice, not so much for the weakish hook, but for the nice references by KRS-ONE.

Maybe MCs will cruise the youtube and learn about some great music. wouldn't that be nice.

Tech Support For Everyone

2009-08-23T23:04:00.001-07:00

thank you xkcd.com
now that I've seen this, am I certified in some way for tech work? Can I just add xkcd certified to my resume?

thom

Just when I thought I couldn't love Ice-T enough

2009-08-09T18:54:00.001-07:00

oh and for us older folks, here's some music.

Bark at the Moon now with 100% more CUTE!!!

2009-07-31T20:04:00.000-07:00

I found this online and it is without a doubt my new favorite video.

My favorite parts:
1)the milk on the pup's face
2)that dude is really good at what he does.
3)the little sleepy faces the baby makes before howling.

Sad Girl's Theme

2009-07-31T18:22:00.000-07:00

Anyone who know's me or my stand up knows how big of a deal this is for me. Finally I have a theme song.

PS anyone wanna join SD Oldies Car Club with me?

Wolfride the Whip

2009-07-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

Wolfride the Whip - watch more funny videos

My first funnyordie clip, gotta love the imac.

Stand up coming soon.

thom

http://www.funnyordie.com/thomnomnom

The Case for Children #1

2009-07-28T17:35:00.001-07:00

1) I had this hair cut.
2) I was almost as cute.
3) This is the best case for a son, I've ever seen.

Best Thor of SDCC 2009

2009-07-27T19:22:00.000-07:00

Verrily you will be tipping for this large pepperoni pizza from ye olde Poppa Johans, or I will smite thee with Mjolnir and end your petty existence.

Derrick Comedy - New Bike

2009-07-26T17:41:00.000-07:00

SDCC 2009

2009-07-24T00:16:00.000-07:00

thomnomnomI took a Gin Time Machine. Next stop the future!

Trooper/I'm a Believer Mash-Up for Chris

2009-07-23T11:22:00.000-07:00

Yeah this is about right. Enjoy.

Weird Al "Pitiful" for Fat Skeletor

2009-07-22T23:38:00.000-07:00

To Keep my Weird Al fixation going I wanted to include this ode to the Fanboys of SDCC.

Obama is Down in the Polls But Not Out.

2009-07-22T22:19:00.000-07:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Seven months into his term and people are calling the potential failure of his health plan a Waterloo. But the man is right and we are skeptical but we need to dare to rise up. Si se Puede.

Weird Al "Skipper Dan"

2009-07-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

Skipper Dan

This is Weird Al's video for his new song "Skipper Dan". It is the tale of a frustrated actor that never made it and instead works as a Jungle Cruise Guide. Funny, true, sad, and beautiful. A little Fountains of Wayne, a Little Green Day, and a lot of Al himself make this song his best in years.

As an aside, years ago my friend Joe and I were standing outside the El Rey in LA after a concert smoking and arguing at 3am. When along came Al with 2 beautiful video vixens. His arms across their shoulders telling stories in his traditional mismatched converse jheri curl baggy black pants attire. The girls had teased out hair and coordinated bright tube tops with black mini skirts.

We stared in awe silently as they strolled by. Now that is what I call rolling nerdy.

Huxley was Right

2009-07-20T22:18:00.000-07:00

think about this when you enjoy the fruits of our civilization.

Forget about Mentos in Diet Coke, This Man Ejaculates Sprite

2009-07-20T17:14:00.000-07:00

This commercial is directly responsible for two things 1) i no longer drink sprite, unless on ecstasy 2) i have forgiven germany

I am DOOM

2009-07-19T22:52:00.001-07:00

According to Facebook I am Doctor Doom.

Scientist, Mage, Leader, Stand Up Comedian, etc.

Doctor Doom = Me

Dreams from the Witch Couch

2009-07-19T11:46:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: I need to edit this later for typos, etc. enjoy.

Last night I dreamt that I was a cop partnered with Ricky Gervais, and we were frantically searching a very odd industrial artist's loft type of building in the wee hours of the night.

Things were not going well in our investigation and with the prospect of the Killer striking again we had no time to waste with the residents and artists that assailed us with questions as we went down the exposed brick service stairwell.

I'm just a rookie. I trust Ricky's experience and instincts, and per usual I'm kept out of the loop. I really should think about transferring to a different division or getting a new partner at the least. But with the way Ricky's partners drop like names in Hollywood, I'm lucky to still be alive.

We stop at the lowest sub-basement where Ricky points to his nose like a young sleazy St. Nick and it is clear that we are back on the clock. I pull my service revolver and provide cover as he kicks the door in.

Once inside we are confronted by vast piles of ceramic art pieces that stretch up to the exposed rafters that loom in this utilitarian space. In the distance we can see flickering light and hear the low chanting of a man's voice.

As we tumble upon the origin of this unsettling voice we find a tall lean, almost lithe, man. Working clay in his hands by the light of the archaic kiln's flames. His eyes appear distant and his hands work steadily on the figure in his hands. It is made of an unusually red clay that lies stacked before him on his potter's wheel.

"You're too late Gervais," he says with a grin, "I've already killed you." And with this he revealed his creation, a tiny clay caricature of Ricky that although crude was unmistakeably him.

As the tall man raised his fist like a hammer ready to fall upon the figure, a shot rang out and the light of the fire shone through the still smoking hole in the tall man's hand.

"No, I don't think so." Ricky said in annoyance. but as the figure fell from the tall man's hand Ricky soon followed to the ground in an awkward echo. A horrible crack could be heard from his leg as he hit the ground. "do something. keep him busy!" Ricky yelled from the ground.

I swung into action giving the tall man my best penalty kick to the ribs. Unfortunately he was able to follow that by pulling my leg out from under me. and we began our trashing about in the piles of ceramic goods, which shattered noisily underfoot and face.

Ricky feverishly worked at a bit of the clay from the potter's wheel. "That's right kid lead with your face, wear him out."

It seemed that no amount of abuse was diminishing the rage that fueled this strange tall man. A man who I now realized was the murderer responsible for the string of shocking murders that had left us all without a clue, except Ricky. Murders in locked rooms, with out physical evidence. Just mangled corpses and indecipherable letters to the police. He had somehow known. This revelation had only raised more questions that I imagine I will never get answered by my inscrutable partner.

A solid hit to the gut brought me to my knees on the unforgiving bed of ceramic shards. And the tall man stood poised to bring heavier piece down upon my skull.

"Oh sir, is this yours?" Ricky asked from the floor startling the tall man who looked to Ricky's voice. In Ricky's hand was a tiny little clay version of the tall man, complete with hole in hand. "Bottom's up." Ricky said with a smile as he tossed the figure back and swallowed it. And with that the man promptly passed out atop me.

"How? What? Is he dead?" I said through the pain and confusion of my beating as I pushed the tall man off of me.

"He's alive, but he's in for a very bumpy ride over the next few hours." Ricky said as he pulled himself up to light a fag. "Oh be a dear and call for an ambulance."

I nodded dumbfounded and pulled out my phone.

"Oh and tell back up to bring some coffee and those bran muffins I like." He said with a grin that the fire's light danced across eerily.

Guns n Roses Cumbia!!!

2009-07-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

This is simply the greatest. It is like the anti herps.

this aint half bad either. and it is about pot that is worth a few points.

mighty morphin, and let's point out that this is an improvement. and fits with their masks.

but let's not forget Chavo, my Uncle Chewie.

love
thom

The Legend of Neil

2009-07-17T19:57:00.000-07:00

Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | More Video Clips

I've been watching a lot of web based content as I work on my own and this is with out a doubt one of the best I've seen. The Old Man is refreshingly funny. The overall tone is good. This should be investigated in further detail.

I got this from Meredith over at io9.com

Look for Neil and friends, including cast members Sandeep Parikh and Tony Janning, at San Diego Comic Con on Thursday at Booth 3445 at 1:40 and on Saturday at 4:30 Felicia Day will join up with the rest of the group for a Rock Band session. And, of course, there will be a panel on Saturday at 7:30 in Room 7AB. Let's hope they bring back Felicia Day as the flashing, cutter fairy. Hopefully her appearance at the Con solidifies her commitment to that wonderful character for future episodes.

It's funny because it says something, not because it is funny.

2009-07-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

My Mother's Red Hat w/Alicia Silverstone & Alanis Morissette from Alicia Silverstone

Ok, here is a funnyordie video starring Alanis Morrissette and Batgirl. Ostensibly it is a fake trailer, but it is actually a poorly executed albeit well crafted meta textual statement on the highly commidified and formulaic design of modern "indie films".

Quirk in place of story. Long montages where the audience is expected to reflect with the assistance of the trendy soundtrack. Yet another reflection of the narcissism of our times. Forget story think about yourself for the next 3 minutes, you know you love that. (see facebook, twitter, etc)

These films are designed to sell soundtracks and attempt to be meaningful for their intended audience that craves both a cultural touchstone and something their age group can claim as their own. Oh and they also work for unimaginative nostalgic older types that want to be relevant and show the kiddos they are still down with the latest bands.

From the art direction, the music (incidental and pop), the pacing, editing, and the marketing they scream aloud their intent to be familiar but protest their uniqueness. An interesting similarity between art and audience can be noted there.

It just makes me sad, because we all want to be manipulated by art, to be seduced by it. but when it is so hacky and obvious it crosses the line from charming to cloying.

feel free to list the movies you know I am talking about.

Hillary Clinton Biopic Pitch

2009-07-17T19:16:00.000-07:00

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1705667530?bctid=29106234001

Won't embed, please open the vid in another tab while reading. 26:30 is the spot.

So this video came to my attention via LifeHacker.com today and at first I got wrapped up in nerd rage at the ridiculous denial of the vastly superior Firefox in favor of IE6 on the basis of "cost".

Yeah, we all know it is free. The government is ridiculous and a little part of each of us that cares dies when watching this video.

But there is a sensible and rational counterargument made by Clinton and Pat Kennedy, that involves roll out and training. The logistics involved in any "simple" IT transition are anything but simple.

But a funny thing happen to me on the way to 26:30. I watched some of Hillary's speech, and I was captivated by the lioness in winter. The mighty fighter put out to pasture and marginalized before her time.

The weariness on her face and the laconic demeanor she puts forth, combined with the "broken wing" really creates a powerful moment of political hell.

I imagine a film that is a hybrid of The Queen and The Wrestler starring an aging but slimmed down Kathy Bates as the once and future Queen.

America will be captivated as she merely exists in this biopic that focuses on what happens when an unstoppable force comes to an undesired resting place. Her haunted eyes will look back on her amazing rise and carefully laid plans and our hearts will sink as we watch her loose it all to a stronger myth.

There is a little bit of her in each of us and a little bit of fear that her end, although tragic is still greater than our own small deaths.

She still burns. The baddest bitch on the hill still burns.

it feels real zeitgeisty. hit me up, I'll write it for a small nominal fee.

I'm Torn, Do I buy this Shirt for Me or My Mother?

2009-07-17T18:03:00.000-07:00

Forget about living forever as beings of pure thought, this is the real singularity.

Tupac Lives!

2009-07-12T15:12:00.001-07:00

This is for Ben.

Adam and Matt are getting a new Apartment

2009-07-11T11:57:00.001-07:00

I imagine these events will take place about a month after they move in.

Bro Mitzvah

2009-07-05T15:59:00.001-07:00

I've found my inner child, and he made a music video. enjoy.

In the Words Of ZZ Top, "I'm just looking for some Kush!"

2009-06-23T19:43:00.000-07:00

Dude, seriously WTF... I'f I had known there was medical science supporting my interest in helping support bosoms in this fashion, I'd have patented my member ages ago.

So ladies, interested in outsourcing this work?

Statutory Grape

2009-06-19T23:10:00.000-07:00

I saw this on the streets of San Diego. It is a converted police cruiser...

Kittie Weed!

2009-06-18T23:43:00.001-07:00

What was that about ecstasy... sure are a lot of gay cats...

Have some Faith No More

2009-06-14T14:21:00.001-07:00

Han Solo P.I.

2009-06-12T18:10:00.000-07:00

I don't know about y'all but my brother had a deep seated affection for Magnum P.I., and I love it as much as I love him. And this made me think of him. Oh and how great Star Wars once was...

It's funny because it is true

2009-06-11T18:21:00.000-07:00

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

"i" on News

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Newt Gingrich Unedited Interview

What the World Needs is a Little More Cheap Trick

2009-06-01T20:13:00.000-07:00

Pygmy Jerboa

2009-05-31T15:12:00.000-07:00

This is real. I'm having Chocobo breeding/racing flashbacks already from Final Fantasy.

Terminator Monster Ballad

2009-05-31T14:49:00.000-07:00

This perked up my Sunday. I hope it does the same for you. It is free and better than Terminator Salvation

Let the Hype begin, the dissapointment will follow in a few months

2009-05-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

Well the gauntlet has been thrown down by this $70 zombie film. Colin is a zombie film from the perspective of the infected, which could be interesting, but then again there is a chance that the angle on its PR campaign could be more interesting.

Done on the weekends by friends and internet associates as a labor of love, and based on this trailer, minus the editing, it looks professional.

Now results may vary, and unless any of us are friends with a recently unemployed professional effects worker, our films will have less production value.

But shouldn't we all make $70 films and sink what is left of the entertainment complex.

WE can review our films from the welfare line.

But seriously, let's make a movie.

Web Soup Anyone?

2009-05-26T18:57:00.000-07:00

Are you in Los Angeles? Do you enjoy comedy? Have you heard of “The Internet”? Do you have a mouth? If the answer to all of these is “yes” then you must come be in the audience for my new G4 program, “Web Soup.” Right now we’re looking to put YOU at a taping at 2pm on one of the following Fridays: 5/29, 6/5, or 6/12.

So go ahead and shoot an email over to soupaudience@comcastnets.com, subject “Web Soup Audience,” and include 1) the date you want to attend and 2) the names of everyone in your attending party. Seating is VERY limited so only include names of people you are POSITIVE can come. Don’t be a request hog! If you don’t hear back from us, please try again when we release more tape date info in a couple of weeks.

I genuinely want these tapings to be fun live show experiences so please bring your laughing lips! Thanks!

Okay who wants to go? We can carpool and yell, "OLD!" together. Any takers?

ANON MAKE IT SO!!!

2009-05-24T22:13:00.000-07:00

A fan mad Green Lantern Trailer starring Nathan Fillion. The only man for the job.

Please please Please interwebs let me have this dream, i dream tonight.

Pass it on!

BREAKING NEWS: This Just In, Duh!

2009-05-24T13:32:00.001-07:00

Radio shock jock Mancow attempted to prove waterboarding was in fact not torture by having the act performed on him live on air.

It did not go well for him, just as it did not go well for anyone that has endured it.

Mancow now admits without a doubt waterboarding is torture.

Your move Hannity.

Eminem, this is where it all started...

2009-05-23T20:57:00.001-07:00

I think that a lot of us have had a moment like this in our youth where we realized how down we are in comparison to our white friends. And how for a very large segment of our generation the ghetto was a never never land that like B.I.G. never ceased to hypnotize.

Bionic Proctologist

2009-05-23T20:28:00.000-07:00

I'm hoping that technology will advance enough by the time I get to those fateful years that involve invasive anal examinations that a tricorder or some other sort of device can just be waved near my ass.

If not perhaps sheer ignorance and conscious willful obliviousness can protect me from ass polyps.

ThomNomNom Twitter Highlights

2009-05-22T18:31:00.000-07:00

http://foxyurl.com/3rF I never knew my Mom was a fashionista. Funniest link evah.

Best Positive Review:

B. Govern "Bee-Dot-Govern" (New Jersey, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

Best Negative Review:

By	Go Down, Moses (Austin, Texas) - See all my reviews

So I got this wolf shirt because of, you know, the sweet wolves on it.

However, having owned this shirt for three weeks now and having tried it out in a variety of situations, both formal and informal, I'm beginning to believe that some of the benefits ---- as described by other reviewers ---- are exaggerated. For example, not ONE supermodel has approached me. Some of you may be used to having supermodels approach you on a regular basis but, believe me, I am not: I would notice one should she appear in my vicinity.

Similarly, I have not been invited to a vision quest, even though I wore my wolf shirt in New Mexico.

http://foxyurl.com/1ST if you liked the wolf shirt, then you'll love the 200 dollar jug of milk.

Best Review:

By	Philip Tone (San Diego, CA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

One should not be intimidated by Tuscan Whole Milk. Nor should one prejudge, despite the fact that Tuscan is non-vintage and comes in such large containers. Do not be fooled: this is not a jug milk. I always find it important to taste milk using high-quality stemware -- this is milk deserving of something better than a Flintstones plastic tumbler. One should pour just a small dollop and swirl it in the glass -- note the coating and look for clots or discoloration. And the color -- it should be opaque, and very, very white. Now, immerse your nose in the glass and take a whiff. Tuscan transports you instantly to scenic hill towns in central Italy (is that Montepulciano I detect?) --- there is the loamy clay, the green grass of summer days, the towering cypress. And those gentle hints of Italian flowers -- wild orchids, sunflowers, poppies. Then, one takes in the thick liquid and lets it roll across and under the tongue -- what is that? perhaps a hint of a nutty Edam cheese? With Tuscan, you feel the love of every dairyperson involved -- from the somewhat sad and deranged farmhand shovelling steaming cowpies to the bored union milk maiden dreaming of leaving this soul crushing life behind for a job waiting tables for obnoxious American tourists in Siena. But not too fast -- sip gently, slowly, or one is in danger of not only missing the subtleties of the milk's texture and its terroir, but -- if chilled too long -- also of giving oneself a blinding ice cream headache. Nay, savor the goodness that only dairymen and dairywomen working at the apex of their craft can deliver. Tuscan is best drunk young -- no, no, don't cellar this gem -- I guarantee you'll be sorry if you do. I recommend pairing with freshly baked macadamia nut scones. Milk Expectorator gives this one a 92.

Godspeed Glambert

2009-05-22T17:42:00.000-07:00

I know I've kept mum on American Idol this year, for a number of reasons:

I ditched out of auditions at the last minute this year.
Got bummed when Kai (off-white por vida) got voted off.
I was afraid that my high profile and influence over the GLBT community would sway the vote and hurt Adam's chances.

Everyone including my dental hygienist has hatefully scorned my prognostication of American Idol. So I thought it was in my best interest to keep quiet till everything had played out.

Why Didn't he win?

He is obviously very talented if a bit overwrought and affected (both sell), and most importantly he has a defined vision of who he is and what he is selling. And he was easily the most interesting candidate and possibly the shot in the arm AI needed.

Unfortunately, it all comes down to the rolling swing vote. As each candidate gets removed from the contest their die-hards make a choice, which determines the odds for each successive round of competition.

As the last real threat to the ascent of Glambert was removed (no I will not repeat his name), his votes went the way of all things white bread, familiar , and nonthreatening. And this holds true no matter who Adam would have gone up against. It was mathematically impossible for him to win.

It is sad to see the same nation that embraced Liberace, abandon a talented man based on his otherness.

But then again loosing didn't hurt Daughtry.

and we'll always have the memories.

I Know These Bitches

2009-05-17T20:05:00.000-07:00

Douchebag and a Tranny - watch more funny videos

Please go vote for them at funnyordie.com

The Midnight Show from UCBLA

2009-05-14T23:33:00.000-07:00

I found these videos on the UCB video site. Enjoy!

Bigger Boobs! w/ Mr. Show's John Ennis - watch more funny videos

Mother's Day Treat: Oak Ridge Boys Cover "Seven Nation Army"

2009-05-14T18:26:00.000-07:00

Big thanks to my Mom for exposing me to the Oak Ridge Boys.

At least she got something right.

I Wonder if He Would Join My Rock Band?

2009-05-14T18:19:00.000-07:00

Literally the greatest thing ever...today.

Buy This Album!

2009-05-14T18:15:00.000-07:00

Go here learn more!

Special Guest Writer! Chris Avila of Creese Speak Reviews the Pitchfork Review of the New Isis Album

2009-05-14T17:54:00.000-07:00

My review of the Pitchfork review of the new Isis album.

11.5 out of 10

The author/doctor must have a double Phd in russian comparative literature and advanced musicology, his words nourish me like the golden nectar of avant garde guitar gods like john mayer, who eric clapton ripped off. The way his words are put together filter out the noise that passes as reviews nowadays and transcends into universal versimilitude. This mastery of the english language should be acknowledged as one of the finest pieces of literature of our time.

This is Exactly How I Imagined It Would Be

2009-05-13T20:00:00.001-07:00

David Walliams and Matt Lucas of Little Britain were involved with a project called Rock Profile.

This clip finds them channeling blur in the most honest and delightful way.

Alex James' reaction is priceless.

He Ain't Got Time to Bleed

2009-05-12T18:47:00.000-07:00

Jesse "The Body" Ventura made an appearance on Larry King this week and laid the Smack Down on everything from the legalization of drugs to two-faced politicians that don't listen when the people have spoken.

The highlight for me was here:

[Water-boarding] is torture... It's drowning. It gives you the complete sensation that you are drowning. It is no good, because you -- I'll put it to you this way, you give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.

Why Does Anyone Care What Bill O'Reilly Says?

2009-05-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

Now we all know he has no game, and he is a mindless provocateur bent on turning the greatest generation against any and all comers.

He should be kneeling with a shiny grill and a few senior citizens on pit bull leashes. This man is a thug.

He is the worst and he hurts white people by playing this tired shuck and jive.

I want to implore everyone out there to politelly and respectfully call their older loved one's on this tired BS and ask them to stop enabling and empowering this man. Remind your folks that you are the ones that will care for them when they are infirm, because you love them, but this has got to end.

This Does Nothing to Settle Those Rumors...

2009-05-12T17:33:00.000-07:00

...Off the Shore of Fire Island.

This is What Eminem Sounds Like to Me Minus the Fun

2009-05-11T22:47:00.000-07:00

Obama Got Jokes

2009-05-11T22:43:00.000-07:00

Not only is he a Genius and Master Strategist but the man has jokes and impressive delivery.

SNL Highlights

2009-05-10T22:49:00.000-07:00

Will Forte was excellent as always, with a fresh set of jokes that were dead on in regard to the economic crisis and the sheer stupidity of the banking elite.

Leonard Nimoy was surprisingly gifted in a brief cameo during the Weekend Update, and is it me or does Zachary Quinto look a bit like another Alien Life Form...

JT and Samberg are at it again

2009-05-10T20:22:00.000-07:00

Does the follow up to Dick in a Box hold up? Let me know what you think.

Oh Nostalgia

2009-05-10T20:19:00.000-07:00

Punch-Out will always hold a special place in my heart and this video for the new Wii remake has me giddy.

I Remember Television

2009-05-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

Apparently andrehussie has a friend gazorra and his videos are even better!

This is a treat for everyone out there who likes bears and Star Trek.

I Remember Television

2009-05-09T19:54:00.000-07:00

God Bless andrewhussie who has been posting some appropriately Lynchian takes on ALF. Strangely enough this is not even close to how weird I remember this show being.

Today's Moment in Atheism

2009-05-09T19:48:00.000-07:00

parent's just don't understand.

But you can, start here.

Drive in Cinema Reviews: Wolverine, 17 Again, and Star Trek

2009-05-09T17:37:00.000-07:00

Oh the drive-in, people can talk all they want about audio and visual fidelity and state of the art movie going experience, but the Drive-In is still king.

To quote Queen, "I'm in love with my car" and she likes movies too.

This friday the wife and I loaded up the car with food and drinks to help us survive the triple feature special: Wolverine, 17 Again, and Star Trek.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine:

Ok, maybe it was the charm of the drive-in or maybe it was the beer...ok, it was the beer. But I am giving Wolverine a partial pardon. Yes, it was dumb, so incredibly dumb (adamantium bullets...) but it was also functional, charming, and entertainingly ridiculous. It is probably more of a testament to the charisma of Jackman (who did appear to be phoning it in) and our intense love of even the most bastardized depiction of our beloved X-Men. But this movie was serviceable but deeply flawed and between the 3-mile island showdown and watching one of our helicopter overlords get SERVED! I couldn't recommend it more... the beer that is.

17 Again:

This was the real surprise of the evening. He shouldn't be so relatable or so funny, but he was. Zac Efron has charisma and screen presence that is just waiting for the right project. This wasn't it but it was enjoyable. The film was built on a tired premise, but it was simple and focused with interesting if not homogenized detail work from the character actor's involved(seriously, how does one get Thomas Lennon's career?). But the film is essentially a star vehicle for Efron and he succeeds and then some, with humor, charm, and some impressive dramatic turns. I'd never even heard the kid talk before seeing this, and although I complained and attempted to dodge this bullet. I'm happy to say that it was thankfully neither adamantium or amnesia inducing.

Star Trek:

This was exhilarating, it's been a long time since I saw an action adventure film that had actual adventure and thrills. Combine that with the wide screen art of Brian Hitch and you have a satisfying reboot. Now there is a lot of discussion this film generates, and if I feel so inclined I'll address some of it. But suffice to say the film makers really hit the nail on the head, this feels like Star Trek. It still bored the wife. This is the best quote from her many questions during the film: "Did she tell him her name because she got the hot Spock Injection?"

PS this is what the film looked like:

I'd Rather See This Then Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

2009-05-08T18:31:00.000-07:00

The little girl at 1:35 is totally Carol and just like this little girl Carol would be on the side of the adorable invading ponnies.

As would most ladies out there that were reared on this 80's property.

But unlike grown male nerds they wouldn't demand that their childhood toys be taken deadly serious.

My LOL Cat is Going to be Published

2009-05-07T22:47:00.000-07:00

About a year ago I wrote a phrase for a picture that my co-worker April took of her cat (We share a love for cute animals). It received 5 star rating and now it has been selected for publication in their next collection.

Sadly they will not be using the words, but the cat has been preserved forever in the world of disposable coffee table literature.

This is the New Frontier

2009-05-07T22:40:00.000-07:00

In the future our generation will endlessly squabble over who's kids are the most indie and authentic. The age of CARLES is upon us. But at the same time these are totally my future babies.

The Batle against our Helicopter Overlords has gone viral

2009-05-07T22:37:00.000-07:00

I'm glad to see that young Americans are using that great know-how we always hear about to step up to the Helicopter menace.

God Bless you Dude that lives at home with very understanding parents.

I'm forwarding this on, because it is never too late to learn about personal finance

2009-05-07T22:27:00.000-07:00

http://www.thesimpledollar.com/onepage/.

This Cements Jarvis Cocker as the Coolest

2009-05-07T22:06:00.000-07:00

Oh, my it is even better than I had hoped. Please take some time out of your day to enjoy this incredible clip of Jarvis entertaining french children on the second day of his Rock/Art Installation.

Here is a brief statement from the man himself in regards to his latest project that coincides with the release of his second solo outing. Further Complications is out on Rough Trade 5/19.

Back in October 2006, when I was asked to edit The Observer Music Monthly in the UK, I asked the question "What is Music for?". Two & a half years on I would like to shorten that question to: WHAT IS MUSIC?
ALSO
I have lost count of the number of articles proclaiming the imminent or actual death of the music industry. Does this mean that music can now go back to being an art form again? & If so, is it the first art form to begin adapting itself to the post-capitalist society we now find ourselves living in? Or is it just something you get free when you buy a mobile phone? Digital content.
ALSO
What happens if you get a band to rehearse in an art gallery instead of a rehearsal space? What if you invite members of the public to play with the band? Or invite them to submit song titles which the band then have to base an improvisation upon? Could a live band provide the accompaniment to an aerobics class? What happens if you play music from 12 noon til 7pm, 7 days a week? & What if you invite the kids from the local school to come round on their Wednesday off?
SO
From Tuesday 5th of May until Sunday 10th of May I will be occupying Galerie Chappe, 4, Rue Andre Barsacq, 75018 Paris, France (+33 1 42 62 42 12 www.galeriechappe.fr) from 12 noon til 6/7pm each day (maybe later some nights) & attempting to answer these pertinent questions. I will be assisted by the members of my band: Martin Craft, Steve Mackey, Tim McCall, Ross Orton & Simon Stafford plus, at various times, we hope to be joined by other musicians currently living in the Paris area.
& THEN
If you live locally please come down & join in this experiment. If you don't you can follow its progress on www.jarviscocker.net which will run for the duration of the installation (more details soon). Each day will be archived & re-broadcast for the convenience of those living in different time-zones.
& FINALLY
A selection of Rankin's photography for my soon-to-be-released album "Further Complications" will be on view during the course of this show. These images are an integral part of the exhibition & will also be offered for sale through the gallery.

This Article changed my life.

2009-05-06T23:28:00.000-07:00

Go here, and read. Then think. And then...

What No Wireless Beatle Boots?

2009-05-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

Seriously, these cost a 100 bucks each. These should not be desirable... but they are so very shiny.

Me Want!

2009-05-04T19:20:00.000-07:00

I just caught this video of Gabe from Penny-Arcade creating art via his tablet.

I can live without the music, but god this reinforces my desire for a tablet.

Not so much for my amazing art but for the sheer gadget lust toyness of it all.

This is where my love affair started.

Anyone out there own one of these? Or any of the lower end models? Please let me know that my want is justified...

This is the Twit...

2009-05-04T17:15:00.001-07:00

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to make sure all of you non-existent readers knew that I have a twitter account. And yes, I think it is the worst. But that is why I love it.

My account is twitter.com/thomnomnom

This is my personal favorite of my tweets so far:

Two bird one tweet! Right-Wingers and Our Helicopter Overlords.

The good news is the economics are on our side, the average helicopter costs 14 million, but for only $100,000 per unit, Wolverines can be generated to liberate us.

Watch Why Wolverines Claws Suck on CollegeHumor

Drinco de Mayo

2009-05-03T18:08:00.001-07:00

Ken Club Karaoke
This Tuesday
Drinco de Mayo!!!

with your host Thom Nom Nom

Jarvis Cocker: Installation Rock Artist

2009-05-02T22:07:00.000-07:00

Yet again justifying my utmost respect, Jarvis Cocker has announced an amazing happening to occur May 5th - May 10th in Paris.

While his band prepares for their upcoming tour dates they will interact with their audience in exciting and unprecedented ways.

The Galerie Chappe will open it's doors to all comers who wish to participate in this once in a lifetime experience.

If anyone wants to help fund my dying wish, please contact me with funds for a trip to Paris.

TUESDAY 5th MAY
12 – 2pm – BAND REHEARSAL
2 -3pm - BRING AN INSTRUMENT (members of the public are invited to bring an instrument with them & play along with the band. Amplification will be available for electric instruments).
3 – 4pm - YOGA CLASS (with a qualified instructor. The band will provide suitable live accompaniment. Participants must provide their own yoga-mat.).
4 – 5pm – IMPROVISATIONS ON A THEME (throughout the course of the exhibition a box will be available in the gallery into which members of the public can post titles, phrases, suggestions, lyrics or anything else that the band can then base improvisations around. During this hour the band will create a number of pieces based on selections of this material).
5 – 6pm – GUEST PERFORMANCE ( an invited guest will play with the band)

WEDNESDAY 6th MAY
12 -2pm – BAND REHEARSAL
2 – 4pm - CHILDREN’S DAY ( French children traditionally have Wednesday off school. The band will supervise a number of music-based children’s activities over the course of these 2 hours. Parental supervision is required for children under 11).
4 – 5pm - RELAXATION ( the band will provide musical accompaniment to a relaxation class. Participants should provide their own exercise mat).
5 – 6pm GUEST PERFORMANCE ( see Tuesday 5th May)

THURSDAY 7th MAY
12 – 2pm – BAND REHEARSAL
2 – 3pm - IMPROVISATIONS ON A THEME ( see Tuesday 5th May)
3 – 4pm – PILATES CLASS (with a qualified instructor. The band will provide suitable live accompaniment. Participants must provide their own exercise mat)
4 – 5pm – BRING AN INSTRUMENT (see Tuesday 5th May)
5 – 6pm – GUEST PERFORMANCE

FRIDAY 8th MAY
12 – 2pm – BAND REHEARSAL
2 – 3pm - IMPROVISATIONS ON A THEME
3 – 4pm - AEROBICS CLASS
4 – 5pm – BRING AN INSTRUMENT
5 – 6pm – GUEST PERFORMANCE

SATURDAY 9th MAY
12 – 2pm – BAND REHEARSAL
2- 3pm - BRING AN INSTRUMENT
3 – 4pm - DANCING ( the band will play an hour of music designed to encourage people to dance. Dress appropriately)
4 – 6pm - SET-UP FOR OUTDOOR PERFORMANCE (weather permitting)
6 – 7pm - OUTDOOR PERFORMANCE ( the band will play a short open-air concert just outside the gallery)

SUNDAY 10th MAY
12 – 2pm – BAND REHEARSAL
2 – 3pm - QUIET HOUR ( an hour of the softest music the band can play)
3 – 4pm - GUEST PERFORMANCE
4 – 6pm - REVIEW OF THE WEEK ( the band will play music written over the course of the past 6 days)

Abra Cadavra the Killing Joke

2009-05-02T21:43:00.000-07:00

I've had a rough saturday. But this post from Chris Hardwick aka Nerdist.com brought tears to my eyes and lifted me from my funk.

thank you internet.

Meet you at the Crossroads Bea

2009-05-01T17:36:00.000-07:00

So you won't be Lonely.
I tip my Sloe Gin Fizz in your memory

An Open Letter To Fox Studios

2009-05-01T17:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Fox Studios,

In the grand tradition of your X-Men Franchise that the new Wolverine film is soul-crushing and underwhelming. But it delivered just enough of that dangerous cocktail of Hollywood Magic and Nerdgasm.

There is no emotional core to this film and it merely qualifies as a "moving picture" and not a flick, or even hope amongst hopes an honest to god work of B-Movie cinema.

You continue to show a complete lack of respect to the audience and those who love film.

You mismanage a potentially lucrative property, with a cash grab mentality and thus undercut the future revenues that could and would be generated by actually attempting to make a cohesive film and a lasting cinematic legacy.

But may I suggest that you do the bare minimum to fix this film as quickly as possible. There is no hope of getting a better script or shooting additional footage.

So please edit the film into a much shorter film that closely resembles The Duel, by Steven Spielberg. The analogous role of the car will be played by the helicopter.

Essentially, your film should be about this and only this. If you had bothered to return my calls, we could have all saved a lot of time and effort, or more importantly money.

Hopefully, in the sure to be successful sequel, Wolverine can travel to the heart of the struggle and fight the helicopters as they are birthed within the banal factory that churns out their rotor-topped horror.

This isn't a pitch, just free advice from one friend to another,
thom

PS It was a travesty to under utilize Kevin Durand as the amazing Buseyesque Blob. This guy is 6 foot 7 and can act, why isn't he up for every super hero role?

Good News

2009-03-09T20:18:00.000-07:00

I have great news based off these numbers we've seen a 100% increase in traffic to the site in only one week. Wait, I'm not sure, and perhaps some of the mathematicians out there can help on this one, but isn't nothing to something an infinite improvement?

If so, then we've actually seen an ∞% increase in site traffic this week. This could be it, this could be the tipping point Mr. Gladwell spoke of... or this could be love.

I must find this page viewer or Paige as I've come to refer to him/her as, this potential soulmate if not just good friend delivered to me via the internets.

I offer a night of bliss to this mysterious angel, whoever he/she might be.

Hello

by Lionel Richie

I've been alone with you inside my mind

And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times

I sometimes see you pass outside my door

Hello, is it me you're looking for?

I can see it in your eyes

I can see it in your smile

You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide

'Cause you know just what to say

And you know just what to do

And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...

I long to see the sunlight in your hair

And tell you time and time again how much I care

Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow

Hello, I've just got to let you know '

Cause I wonder where you are

And I wonder what you do

Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?

Tell me how to win your heart

For I haven't got a clue

But let me start by saying, I love you ...

Hello, is it me you're looking for?

'Cause I wonder where you are

And I wonder what you do

Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?

Tell me how to win your heart

For I haven't got a clue

But let me start by saying ... I love you

Into the void

2009-03-05T21:22:00.000-08:00

Quantifiable proof that i am irrelevant.

Geek Free to a Good Home

2009-02-28T00:59:00.000-08:00

Okay, So I have a very good friend named George that I have known forever. And, although, I've known him forever he never ceases to amaze me. He is talented, affable, and dynamic. But he can be a bit much.

Which I love. All of his friends we love this "just a bit much" quality he has, which can be a little off putting for some people. Case in point, he has received some unpleasant and completely unjustified responses from people on Craigslist.

George is moving up north and he posted this in hopes of meeting a potential roomie:

"Hey-Hey-Hey" -Dwayne Clemens Nelson [What's Happening]

This Southern Californian is getting the heck out of the golden state: I'm honestly sick and tired of living here being that I've lived here my whole life and need a change. I fell in love with the state-o-Washington when I visited with my girlfriend (who is from Oly and is moving back home from socal) November of 08. Now, you're probably thinking "why don't you two just get a place together?" and believe me I want to but it's kind of a long story. I've had enough of super hot weather during seasons that aren't supposed to be at 90 degrees, the smog, the sun, the dirt, the traffic, and the fake people: I currently reside in Orange County (the OC). I need seasons, I need damp weather, I need the tree-lined horizon. We plan on moving in June but I am looking for jobs up north right now and if I find something earlier than I'll head up earlier, mainly staying for both my parents' birthdays, but let's just say mid-June.

A little more about me: I'm 29 and will be turning 30 *sigh* in August. My love is music (Indie, Shoegaze,
Britpop, etc) and people have dubbed me a "music-snob" (see/read High Fidelity). I'm also a huge film buff, into graphic design, typography, color theory, hockey "Go Anaheim Ducks!"/football "soccer" (Newcastle United), xbox 360, photography, audio/video tech stuff, Star Wars,and what have you. I have a fantastic sense of
humor, witty and am not easily offended... so pretty much, I'm a really chill geeky guy.

As for living habits, and I can give you references, I'll be up front and say that I'm a bit of a neat freak. I pick up after myself and don't really dig clutter or mess (stresses me out, it does!). I'm also good at washing dishes and keeping a clean bathroom. As for current jobs, I work at Disneyland, you might have seen me on a recent trip... I might have told you which row to sit in on Thunder Mountain (everybody always asks for the last row
so don't feel bad) or said "You're from Washington? I'm moving up there in June! I'm really looking forward to it and have even practiced on my pronunciation of 'Puyallup'". As stated, I hope to find a job before moving. Since our economy is really amazing at the moment, I don't want to be unemployed stressing about
making rent.

I am looking to live with someone who can be very trustworthy, cool, clean and hopefully into the things that I'm into. I haven't any criminal record and no, I am not a serial killer. I don't do drugs and I quit smoking in November of 06 so you don't have to worry about that. I do enjoy a drink/pint now and then but in all fun and in moderation being that I've recently been diagnosed Type-2 Diabetic and don't want my blood to turn into
Mrs. Butterworths, so I'm on the path to healthy living. I don't have a car, well I do but it's ummmmm broken so will be opting for saving the world via public transportation, carpooling,walking, hover-boarding, etc. My girlfriend and I do have pets, kitties. Being that her best friend and future room mate is allergic, they're gonna have to live with me for a while. We have 3 but my current room mate doesn't take care of his and one of ours is related to it, so we're planning on bring up 4. This might sound like we're crazy cat people but we're not... I think having 9 qualifies for that title. They're 3 boys: The Cat Formerly Known as Prince aka Prince (who's 9 years old and is really much like a dog and loves everyone and loves to drink from a running faucet), Mr. Mitts Beauregarde aka Sonny Bow-Nose aka Beau (who's 4 years old and who is the emo, anti-social cat that anyone hardly ever gets to see), and finally Lord Viktor Crane: Vampyre Executive (the raddest, purr crazy, very curious, 6 month old kitten around). The other one is a girl, Viktors twin sister, which we were told was a boy and had surprising news when we took him to get fixed in which case he went from being named Catson Pollock to Ms Castson Pollock (her color makes her look like she has paint splattered all over her so I thought of Jackson Pollock. She's really loving and has come a long way from being rather shy and timid to being super friendly and a tease).

Pretty much, this is my last effort into finding a room to rent in a shared home because after that then I'll be looking to just get my own place. Figured I'd take one more shot and see about finding a roommate. I know I've written quite a bit so I will just say that I can't wait to live in WA, it'll be a good change that I need and a step in the right direction for me. Please, feel free to contact me and we'll take it from there.

Cheers,
George

cats are OK -
purrr
Location: Olypmia/Lacey
it's NOT ok to
contact this poster
with services or other commercial interestsPostingID:
1052501026

Seriously, this is like the best blog George never wrote. It encapsulates him and everything he is going through right now. It is honest and approachable, and filled with that plucky charm that he exemplifies.

George's greatest gift is that he gives strength to those around him and holds his family and friends together and above the stress of life. But apparently people up north haven't realized that this is it, and they should let the right one in.

Case in point a true Craigslist exchange that George shared with a young professional from the Olympia area:

John Rando: Sorry, I'm looking for someone now, not in two months!
George: Please let me know if you still are in need later on.Thanks
John Rando: Please dont contact me again. I read your ad, and you're an idiot that I wouldn't allow in my front door.*

*This dude wrote from the info@ email for his employer, they make "water pipes"

Thom to George in regards to Rando: This from a dude that makes blown glass for new age bitties. Trust me if you made it through the front door the patchouli would cause you to pass out. and you'd awaken to find some of his handiwork up your manhole.

If anyone knows of a place that would welcome the chance to brighten their lives: Geek free to a Good Home.

I got an add from my Friend Chris and I'm not sure if this is a blog or a death threat

2009-02-25T22:15:00.000-08:00

This is a free blogger template, which proves that you get what you pay for.

This is the best sort of outsider art, from the overwrought expressive line work to the anatomical inaccuracies and the pig nosed gun.

It sends a clear message that one can use to brand themselves on the cheap: Back off, I'm mentally stunted and dangerous.

It seethes with a 14 year old's concept of Bad-assery. Combine this with innapropriate juxtaposition and it yields amazing fruit.

PS thanks for being a sport Chris and putting up this template and indulging me.

Guest Blogger!!!

2009-02-24T00:54:00.001-08:00

Guest Blogger Pirate Kitten tells us a tale of woe

lolcat adaptation #3 by Kevin Steele (Kevin Steele)

A thieving no good Irish Tabby Wench promised me the world as she drowned my sorrows in ale. She used her feminine wiles to lure me into her bed of fire and in the morrow when daylight broke, i saw it with the single eye she left me. But one eye is all i need for the one woman that has never lied to me... the sea

When they were handing out Brains, you thought they said Trains, and said, "Just give me a slow one that goes chew chew."

2009-02-22T22:48:00.001-08:00

Where does one begin...Cars. Continued dependence on foreign oil. Pollution. Etc.
and lets not forget that trains are the preferred form of travel for gentlemen and ladies.

I've always loved travel, especially the scenery and the sense of place. Air travel robs one of even the illusion of place. In fact my desire to play music was motivated by my desire to travel. I remember my trips visually set to music. Oh, the art of the mix tape. The travel mix tape. a rare off shoot of a dying breed.

Take my word for it, a train trip will do you good. Pick a place randomly purchase your ticket. Make your mix. Get a good seat and order a drink. And soak in the view.

Runners World

2009-02-22T22:25:00.000-08:00

I'm a big fan of any magazine that features people that exercise. It allows me to feel all the thrill of fitness without breaking a sweat. Some people play fantasy football, I play fantasy endurance sports like triathalons and half-marathons. Yes, it is dull.

Turn out your pockets...

2009-02-20T22:06:00.001-08:00

Lamest question ever. I wish I had turned out my pockets to reveal the revolver. Then at least we'd know who killed Mr. Body.

http://www.jfold.com/

this is the site of the company that made my wallet. They is bomb. Life changing, remember less is more; travel only with that which is necessary

J Fold Wallet
It was a gift from the wife to save me from wallet butt

keys
driving yo.

Moleskine
For jotting down ideas, etc.

Ken Club is great for drinks with an old friend

2009-02-19T21:38:00.001-08:00

A place where everyone knows your name

The best bar in San Diego. With the best staff and the best crowd, in the best damn area in all of San Diego. DId I mention that every Tuesday is Ken Club Karaoke?

When the Going gets Tough, the Tough get Frying

2009-02-17T21:48:00.001-08:00

When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Wendy's comes to me bringing fries of goodness, let it be.

I'm a big eater. Always have been and always will be, and when I go off the rails on a binge it is a sight to behold. Quantity and quality. Depth and breadth. I make myself and others sick. And when my life gets especially stressful nothing is as soothing as the ultimate adjective when discussing comfort food: fried.

I need the crunchy greasy goodness and the heaviness that steadies my soul. The ball of grease and batter in my stomach absorbing all my fears and hate. Clogging my arteries with ill intent and fatalistic abandon, I strive for the elation that comes with the petit mort of steak frites.

But I have some control, I have never let a deep fryer into my home. As sure a sign as withdrawing from friends and family, giving away personal belongings, and setting affairs in order. The purchase of a deep fryer is a sure sign of premeditated suicide. The slow and savory way to an unsavory end.

PS If anyone out there that hates me, wants to end me. I'll gladly accept a deep fryer as both a challenge and a threat.

Wii Fit is a constant reminder that I need someone to hate

2009-02-16T22:07:00.001-08:00

and it might as well be Nintendo

Every day, I step onto my Wii Fit and confront my nemesis... the adorable fat little Mii that smirks back at me. I'm sure to strip down and gain every possible advantage before it weighs me, and regardless of any action I have taken the damn thing tells me I'm fatter, not fitter. I tell myself that this is because A) It hates me, B) it can not differentiate between additional muscle mass and regular ass, or C) I'm loosing the battle of the bulge.

Yet, I don't appear to be fat. Or even getting fatter. So either Nintendo designed this thing to fuel my fire with self loathing and rage, or I've completely lost my grip on reality and there is no Wii Fit, there is no Mii... just a hell I've designed for myself that only heavy medication can wake me from.